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Before & after.

Day of getting them done.

Today.

Here we go again.

As a lot of you know I have struggled a lot with my lip fillers haha. For various reasons!

A short recap: The first two times I filled them with 1ml Juvederm, which lasted about 2 months instead of 6-9 months as it says that it "should" last. My body broke down the filler so fast, which obviously is not a good thing. I loved the result but it didn't last.

The third time, a few months (weeks) ago, I went to try a new kind of filler called Voluma. It's way thicker so Angelica said that we probably wouldn't be able to fit 1 ml in my lips since my mouth is so small. But after filling my lips with 1 ml she said that my tissue just "soaked up" the filler, so to get the same result as before we filled them with 2 ml. I loved the way it looked and the size of my lips!

However, it turned out to be way too much for my lips anyway, even though you couldn't see it at the time of filling them. The healing was terrible, I felt like shit for about a week, my entire face got swollen and eventually the filler moved around and healed in a bad way. Major lumps formed and my entire mouth was crooked as a result.

Obviously a lot of people noticed this, and I'm not stupid. I saw that they were crooked. But it was really fucking annoying to read people's comments about it every single day. People telling me "what the fuck have you done to your face" and "too much botox!!!" ... the fuck? Who said anything about botox. Fucking ignorant people haha. I loved the look/size of my lips even after they healed. But my smile was terribly crooked and it didn't feel right...

So today I'm going to get these fillers dissolved and completely removed from my lips. And as you can see in the last picture from today, there's not much filler left in them. My lips just break everything down in a second and it's so frustrating. I LOVE having my lips filled. It makes me feel great and confident and happy! But it's not working for me!

I have pretty much lost hope that any filler would work... all I want is smooth, nice, even lips. But so far that has not happened for me. From now on I'll just let my beautician decide what the best course of action is. It's not her fault that my body is the way it is haha, but she's the professional so she knows if we should just give up or try something else.

However I won't be able to get them filled again today since there will be dissolving stuff in my system. It will probably have to dissolve what I have, and then I can go back and maybe try something new. We'll see... Wish me luck!

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Have done nothing productive today at all. That was the plan and I executed it perfectly. Just got back from a long walk with the puppy and now I'm just sitting here wondering why every single thing people (I) say has to be picked apart and made into something it's not.

Sometimes I just want to make a single statement to encourage people and motivate them to work hard. Instead I get lectured about people who are offended or shamed or just feel bad about other people writing things like this. Apparently it's not okay to inspire people to work hard 'cause there are people who can't work hard.

I'm not one to often complain about how people are easily offended ('cause I don't think it's too much to ask to do your best not to offend). But when you can't even make a positive, uplifting, happy post to encourage others, without getting shut down, that's when it's gone a little bit too far haha. To a certain extent I see it as each individual's own responsibility not to follow accounts on social media that make them feel shamed in any way.*

Just my opinion.


* No I do not condone accounts that literally shame people. But there's a difference between actually shaming someone and encouraging something you as a follower do not fit into. Encouragement of something does not mean the discouragement of everything else...

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The first and definitely not the last fall lookbook of the year is here! This time in collaboration with Junkyard. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing in the video haha, but at least I'm in the forest running around doing weird shit. Enjoy!

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Shirt from Samsøe & Samsøe

I've been working every day this week (yeah it's not that common to be honest), and the days are just flying by haha! It's Thursday tomorrow and then the weekend is basically over. I'm not complaining 'cause I'm having a lot of fun working. It's just crazy how time flies... in a second I'll be 80.

Sonny and I went up to the disc golf area this evening. I filmed a lookbook for tomorrow and he played some disc golf with his friends. I just finished editing and the video is literally 2.50 minutes long haha! These lookbooks take forever to create and the final product is microscopical. But it's fun anyway!

What's on the schedule for tomorrow? Hmm. Not sure yet. Will probably film something but I haven't decided on what. We shall see I guess. Have a nice evening guys!

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FINALLY! Kesha is one of the artists that I love no matter what she does. After everything that has happened to her, I'm so glad that she has finally released an album that is truly who she is. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Party Kesha and her previous albums are perfect. But this album still makes me so happy and it means so much that she has been able to do it. And the songs are obviously great as well.

If you haven't listened to it yet, do it here: https://open.spotify.com/album/1IYVB8NfiRqhdZlTxjspNh

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