Have you ever asked yourself if you might be a grumpy girlfriend? Have you noticed that you might be overreacting a lot, feeling jealous for no reason, and showing up as a wet towel in your relationship? Look no further. I’ll help you determine if you’re in the risk zone of being a grumpy girlfriend once and for all.

Disclaimer: This is not an exhaustive, definitive list. You might relate to a lot of these points and still not fall into the grumpy girlfriend category. Or you might be a grumpy girlfriend but have other, unique struggles. This is just meant as a general guide and assumes that you are in a relationship with a kind, respectful, albeit human (not perfect) partner.

The Signs

1. Your partner is doing their best to make you feel better, but no matter what they do, you find yourself feeling jealous, anxious, and insecure
   
2. You constantly fear that your partner will cheat, despite them not giving you any reason to think that they will.
   
3. When your insecurities are triggered, you start acting cold, distant, and snappy towards your partner.
   
4. You argue about meaningless things often and it leaves you feeling like a really unpleasant, uptight person to be around.
   
5. Your sense of humor has disappeared and you get triggered or offended by everything.
   
6. Everything your partner does feels like a sign that they don’t care, aren’t putting in effort, and would rather be with someone else.
   
7. You have snapped at or made inappropriate comments to or about your partner around friends, family, or acquaintances that you later regret.
   
8. You have started adjusting your own habits and behaviors in order to monitor your partner.
   
9. Your hobbies, activities, and dreams are put on the back burner because so much of your energy is invested in keeping track of your partner.
   
10. You bottle up your emotions and then blow up all over the place.
    
11. Your partner’s ability to just be happy is provoking to you.
    
12. Being able to say “I knew it! I saw it coming!” if something bad happens seems to be your highest priority.
    
13. You don’t really get why your partner chooses to be with you of all people.
    
14. Sometimes, being grumpy, negative, and pessimistic makes you feel superior to others.
    
15. Deep down all you want is to be one of those happy-go-lucky, carefree, easy-going girlfriends but it feels scary, vulnerable, and impossible.
    
16. You often act like your partner’s mom, managing stuff for them, keeping track of things, and taking care of them… and then feel resentful about it.
    
17. When your partner has done something you’re unhappy with, you punish them emotionally by withholding love, intimacy, and connection.
    
18. You constantly choose to misinterpret your partner’s words, behaviors, and intentions.
    
19. You know that it’s not your partner who’s the problem in the relationship but you don’t know what to do to change how you feel.
    
20. Fairness, rules, and principles have become more important than generosity and love.
    
21. You feel grumpy around your partner all of the time.

Can you relate to some or all of these signs? Then you might be a grumpy girlfriend, struggling to enjoy her good relationship.

You’re not broken and you’re not alone. There are so many girlfriends struggling with these exact things all over the world. It’s normal, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Being a happy, relaxed, carefree girlfriend is a skill you can learn. It’s not something you have to be born with or taught from a young age.

I have gone through this journey myself and now I coach grumpy girlfriends every week who want to change their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If you’re interested in working with me, check out my website to learn more and how to apply for a spot in the program!

It’s time to dump the grump for good.