When You Know What to Do, But You’re Just Not Doing It

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I'm a certified coach and work with grumpy girlfriends who want to dump the grump and enjoy their good relationships.

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I don’t know how many times I’ve thought to myself “I know what to do, but I’m just not doing it.” Actually doing the thing becomes the problem to solve rather than understanding what to do and why. If you’re in this situation right now and you think you know what to do to enjoy your relationship more… this blog post is for you.

I absolutely believe that procrastination, inaction, and struggling to execute can be reasons you’re not making progress. I mean, putting your knowledge into practice is crucial in order to make a change. But I also think that it’s more comfortable for our brains to blame our lack of progress on inaction rather than being honest with ourselves.

“I know what to do but I’m just not doing it” = I am smart, I know the path, I could walk down the past if I wanted to, so technically the solution is within arm’s reach, but I’m just not doing it yet.

“I just need to get to work” = Very simple solution, at any point you can start feeling better, there’s no real confusion or uncertainty involved. You’re certain, you’re just not doing anything.

“It makes sense, I understand it, I just need to find the motivation” = Again, no question marks, everything is clear as day, and as soon as you find the motivation you’ll be on your way.

One of two things is missing…

Here’s what I think: If you truly knew what to do and why then you would do it.

When it comes to working on your jealousy, insecurities, and relationship anxiety, I think way too many girlfriends think they know what to do and think their only problem is inaction.

My theory is that

  1. What you think you should be doing is actually wrong.
  2. Even if you do know what to do, I don’t think you understand why it works or how it can help you.

Therefore, you’re not doing it.

It’s extremely challenging to get yourself to do uncomfortable things that require effort when you don’t really know exactly what to do and you have no idea if or why it works. That requires a special kind of blind faith that it will pay off, a faith that I think most of us lack.

What most girlfriends “know”

If you ask a struggling girlfriend what they think they need to do in order to feel better and enjoy their good relationships, these are the most common answers:

  1. Get better at communicating with my partner
  2. Learn to trust my partner because I know they would never ____
  3. Work on my self-esteem and learn to love myself

We all “know” these things, but is this knowledge actually helping you feel better? Do you know exactly what to do in order to improve and make progress? I don’t think so. Because while these things sound very pretty and are reinforced by a lot of mainstream social media advice, they aren’t very actionable.

Sure, these Instagram accounts try to help you by giving you a to-do list of how to communicate, trust your partner, and love yourself.

But at the end of the day, you’re still grumpy, jealous, and anxious…

What if…

What if you’re missing something? What if there’s a piece of the puzzle that would actually help you make progress and learn to finally enjoy your good relationship? I’m here to tell you that there is. A crucial piece that you can’t make significant, lasting change without.

I want to show you why the things you “know to do” are not the cure for your girlfriend grumpiness and insecurities. It’s not “just” that you aren’t putting what you know into action. You aren’t just “lazy” or “unmotivated.” You’re actually missing vital information and guidance.


In this live class, you will learn:

  • The 3 biggest mistakes girlfriends make when trying to feel better in their relationships.
  • How you are using communication, trust, and self-love all wrong.
  • What the missing puzzle piece is that you need in order to truly relax and enjoy yourself.
  • How to master that missing puzzle piece and start your real girlfriend glow-up journey.

Click here to sign up for free and get notification reminders on Instagram when it’s time to join! (Works when using your phone, Instagram on desktop doesn’t have the button for some reason.)

Where: My Instagram account
When: Thursday, November 24th, 2022, 5 pm (CET)

I can’t wait to see you there.

xo Katrin

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