There are a lot of solutions to girlfriend grumpiness out there… coaching, therapy, breaking up. But I wholeheartedly believe that I have the best program out there for girlfriends in good relationships who want to enjoy themselves. Here are four reasons you should choose to work with me as your relationship coach if you are struggling.
I’m not a babysitter and you definitely don’t need one
If my job was to babysit you and be your accountability partner, sure you would probably get some results from that. But they would be temporary. Because as soon as I’m not there anymore you’ll go back to your old patterns.
I’m not interested in making you dependent on me as your coach. I don’t want you to shift your security and safety from grumpiness, anxiety, and seeing it coming… to me! I want you to shift it to yourself.
So what I teach you in my program is how to rely on yourself. How to figure situations out yourself. And eventually, how to coach yourself to get the results that you desire.
In the beginning, you’ll need more support and help with this. But as we go through the program, I will help you start to figure these things out on your own. That doesn’t mean that I dump you in the deep end and tell you to swim once the program is over. You will still have my support and guidance. But my long-term goal is for you not to need it.
What I think and want is irrelevant to you
My opinion on things is irrelevant.
My likes and dislikes are irrelevant.
The kind of relationship I want is irrelevant.
The kind of girlfriend I want to be is irrelevant.
You don’t come to me to get advice, truths, or rights and wrongs. You have your friends and family for that. They can share their opinions with you and tell you what to do. That is not my job.
Instead, what I do is hold space for you to uncover and get to know your own opinions and desires. What do you really want? What do you like? What’s okay and what is not, and why?
When we are grumpy, jealous, and anxious all the time, our emotions cloud our opinions. It makes everything our partners do feel like an act of violence that we never want to experience ever again. But as you start to learn not to fear your negative emotions and don’t use them to form your opinions as much, you will get to know yourself on a whole other level.
This journey should never be interrupted by your coach offering their opinions and telling you what to do as if they know best. A coach never knows what’s best for you. Their job, my job, is to help you figure that out for yourself.
We solve the cause of your grumpiness, not the symptoms
I could tell you how to communicate with your partner to make them change.
I could give you an “anxiety coping routine” including bubble baths and gratitude journals.
I could ask you to write me every time you are triggered so I can help you handle it.
But 1. I’m not your babysitter… and 2. Treating the symptoms of your grumpiness only gives you temporary relief. Eventually, your entire life is going to center around this temporary relief, trying to prevent triggers from happening and if they happen, you do everything in your power to distract yourself. This is not what I want you to do.
Together, we treat the cause of your grumpiness. We tackle the fears that are fuelling this behavior. We make peace with the worst-case scenarios your brain does not currently trust you to handle. We show your brain that it no longer has to obsess over all these things in your relationship because you are capable of handling them in a healthy and safe way.
This is the only way you will see lasting change in how you think, feel, and show up.
I have been in your shoes
This is, in my opinion, the best part of the entire coaching industry.
There are so many coaches in the world with different life experiences. And a lot of them have chosen to dedicate their coaching businesses to helping people who are going through things that they themselves have been through.
The fact that I have been an extremely grumpy girlfriend suffering from brutal jealousy and an anxiety disorder makes me a better coach for you today. I understand you in a way some other random person does not. I know how your brain works. I know what kind of tools are useful for you. I know how to manage and work with a mind that is a little crazy from time to time.
When I went to therapy for my jealousy, I felt like my therapist had no idea what I was talking about. She didn’t get it. She didn’t get me. And I know therapists probably need to stay relatively objective and anonymous haha, but it bothered me. A lot.
When I work with my clients, I can talk to them as equals. We have shared experiences. We understand each other. And even though my thoughts and opinions are irrelevant, my experience and my understanding of their situation is not.
And best of all, I’m an example of what is possible.
If I can change my life, my relationship, and go from grumpy to relaxed girlfriend… you can too.
So yes. I think you should work with me. I think I’m the best-suited person to help you if you are a girlfriend in a good relationship who struggles with grumpiness, jealousy, and anxiety.
But just to make sure we click, we always start off with a consultation call to discuss your situation and the changes you want to make. If we vibe and I believe I can help you, that is when you commit to the program!